Eph 5 21-33 Love as Christ

Love as Christ!

Ephesians 5:21 - 33

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Key to this passage is unconditional love not submission. There is a lot of confusion in our culture as seen by this cartoon. (That love, honour and obey, is that me or her?)

To understand this passage we need to first understand the relationship of Christ and the church. We need to look at this profound mystery which Paul is talking about. On the surface in today's culture of feminism this passage is archaic and wrong. Fortunately God is wiser having created the world and the social order in it so if we don't understand this mystery then we add it to the many things which we still don't understand in God's marvellous created world that we one day we may understand.
Those that attack religion and the idea of a God of social order don't understand God's ways and wisdom so they do so in ignorance and rebellion. The key is to keep seeking God's wisdom and following His path so that we live in harmony and peace not throw out things just because we don't understand them and live in rebellion, tension, anger and fighting.
In the same way we see the world's portrayal of men as macho, pushing around his wife, make her submit to him in everything or else he will use force. Another word for that is domestic abuse, whether it is verbal or physical. That also is rejected by those who are redeemed.
We want to focus on three things in this passage: our relationship with Jesus, the role and responsibility of the husbands, and third, the role of the wife.
V. 23 Christ is head of the church, His body. Christ shows leadership by serving. When we serve in love, it attracts positive attention. Serving leads people into a relationship with Jesus. Who wants a dictator, tyrant, manipulator and deceptive Devil for a leader?
Christ is the Saviour of His body. A Saviour is a person who rescues others. In the movie, "Fireproof" we see Caleb Holt, go into a burning house to rescue a helpless child. That is the picture of Jesus who rescues us from the flames of Hell. He carries us out of darkness and danger and brings us back to life. Caleb is also on a mission to rescue his marriage. It's a great movie to understand that we need to work at our marriages if they are to succeed. We need to work at our relationship to Jesus if we are to succeed in living with Jesus forever.
v 25 Christ loves His people (ekklesia) Called out ones. We are called out of the world and into relationship with Him. As His beloved there will one day be a celebration where we enter an intimate relationship with Him face to face.
The Bible speaks of the marriage of the Lamb and His Bride, the church in Revelation 19: 6 - 8 And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, "Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! 7 Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready." 8 And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.
Jesus showed us sacrificial love - He gave up everything for us. If we are his follower, He challenges us to deny our self, and take up our cross daily, and follow Him (Luke 9:23).
How did Christ love - agape - the called out ones? Agape is an unconditional love. Even before we had a relationship with Him, He loved us. He loved us so much that he gave himself up for us to make us holy. He didn't say, "When you get your act together I will love you. OR When you can get rid of all your bad habits I'll think about letting you into heaven. OR When you can live a pure righteous life, I'll open the door and let you in. OR What is the matter with you? I don't want you unless you are a good boy or girl." No Jesus accepts us unconditionally when we come to Him, admitting our failures and asking for forgiveness. We don't have to come crawling on our knees, we just have to come humbly, repentantly and sincerely to a loving Saviour who extends His arms to welcome us into a beautiful relationship where He gives us joy, peace and power.
Jesus cleanses us by the washing with water through the word. We are to bath our soul with the cleansing Word of Jesus, be they words of comfort, encouragement, strength, guidance or rebuke. Fill your heart with God's word and it will bring healing to your soul, heal your pain, cleanse your sin and purify your thinking.
Jesus will present us to himself as a radiant church. What do you think of when you hear the word "radiant". I think of someone who has inner joy and reflects that on their face. The smile and sparkle in their eyes is a reflection of their joy, peace and contentment. You can identify if someone is in pain and hurting by looking at their eyes.
I think of Moses who spent time face to face with God for 40 days and when he came down the mountain after time with God, his face was so bright that the sinful Israelites couldn't even stand to look at him. They knew he had been in the presence of God. If we spend time with God our countenance will reflect God's glory, we will radiate His holiness but there will be people who will not want to be in your presence because of their wickedness and sin. Those seeking God will be attracted to you.
He has made it possible to be without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish. He does not want anyone remaining sinful, impure and dirty. He wants to take out all the stains. Some of you know how hard it is to get out some of the stains we have in our clothes. We scrub with laundry soap, use bleach or goo-gone. Others know how hard it is to get rid of those bad habits, those immoral thoughts, the harsh words or gossip, deceitful tongue, or poor stewardship. Jesus wants us pure white, neatly pressed and no snags or flaws in our character. He will lovingly correct us and show us how we can be without blemish when we enter His holy Heaven.
Jesus wants to present us to His Father as holy - physically pure, morally blameless or ceremonially consecrated - and blameless. How does Jesus do that? There was one penalty for disobedience and sin. DEATH. Jesus died in our place to make us holy. Accepting his loving substitutionary death will cleanse us. Jesus removes all that rebellion and filthy from our lives and Jesus will present us to our Father as a radiant body of believers, without any stain or blemish but holy and blameless. Wow!
Do you think it pains Christ when you disobey? When you ignore and reject Him? Yes! He cries. He is involved with you emotionally not just spiritually. We could never pay for our sin. How can dirty hands wash clothes clean? Jesus can cleanse us because He was pure and sinless. He was totally innocent yet he took the penalty for your sin. How we have pained Him. When we were dead in our trespasses and sin, Christ died for us. WOW!
V 29 Christ feeds (nurture, nourish) and care for His body, the church. The Bible says that we do not live on bread alone but by every word the comes from God. Is your soul being nourished by God's manna or are you starving yourself. The banquet is spread, are you going to join in the feast? The choice is yours.
Jesus cares for each of His children: old or young, male or female, big or small. He cares for you. He does not want to see you in pain. He brings healing to your heart, your emotions, your body. He reveals to those who seek Him how much He cares. When we go to Jesus with our burdens He listens. He speaks to us. He reveals His forgiveness, tender care and concern to us. He takes away our burdens when we ask Him. He brings joy.
So Jesus
Loves us,
He Cleanses us and purifies us
He makes us Radiant
He makes us holy
He makes us Blameless
He Nurtures - Feeds us
He Cares about us.
V. 24 In response to what Christ does for us the church submits to Christ. Someone who is submissive looks to the Master and obeys what He asks. We don't come with our own agendas. The boss doesn't come up to you and ask, "What do you think we should do today?" (Unless you are only one of the bosses.) I can just hear someone say, "Let's take the day off and call it a snow day and go snowmobiling." Why do we do that in our spiritual lives?
What Christ is doing for us is beautiful! What more could you ask for? Jesus asks that the husband be like Him. That is a real challenge. Of course we cannot love like Jesus, cleanse like Jesus, Make our families so happy that they reflect joy in their faces, Lead them to a holy and blameless life, Nurture them not just with physical food but with the word of God and Care about them like Jesus does. But that is what Jesus asks for.
I hope you are up to the challenge men. At this point perhaps most of you men will say, "This is impossible!" Yes, with man it is impossible but with God all things are possible. God ordained that you be the leader in your home. This happened at creation.
We look to God and ask Him what we are to do. That means we need to be listening to the Holy Spirit and watching in His Word what He is saying. Then we need to do what he asks of us. Some things are pretty clear as we have seen in this chapter and the next. "Children obey your parents." "Fathers do not frustrate your children." These things do not need an angelic visit, divine revelation, or a lightning strike from heaven to know we are to do them.
The head of the home should be the leader in love. Husbands love your wives - 2 x in this passage Paul uses term for unconditional love - agape love. Unconditional love is gentle, caring and unselfish. Men we need a serving heart. Give up himself as Jesus served his disciples.
As husbands we are to lead our families into righteousness. We are the example of purity, of love, care, grace and forgiveness. How often we fail and for that we need to ask our God and family for forgiveness. The only brokenness in our homes should be a broken and contrite spirit before the Lord because of our failures.
Are you leading by setting an example not harshly command expecting others to obey when we ourselves don't do what we preach. Like the dad who told his child who answered the phone and the boss wanted to know where he was. The dad said, "Tell him I am not home." The child repeated, "Dad says he is not home." We are to disciple, not try to fix our wife and children.
My wife likes to give me good wholesome food and I go out an buy junk food. Nourishment is not just food. Nourish her soul, her emotions, her heart. Nourish your wife with praise and encouragement. Feed her good things.
Ask your wife or husband how much they have felt loved by you. The answer might shock you. We want to show love but sometimes our spouse can't feel the love we are trying to show him/her. Ask the question, "What could I do to show I love you?" The book "Five Love Languages" has some practical ways to help you love your spouse and children.
Care for her heart. What is your wife's emotional weaknesses? Can you care about that?
When you stand before Jesus if you could say I missed the greatest play of century during the 2016 Super bowl because I was looking into my wife's eyes. I think Jesus and your wife would say, "Well done good and faithful servant."
A fellow wanted to go to the Super bowl and it came to his city. He scrounged up the couple hundred dollars for a seat in the upper balcony - the nose bleed section. He had his binoculars with him and during the first quarter he noticed an empty seat down near the field level at the 50 yard line. He kept check on it and finally got up the courage to go down and find out if it was indeed empty. He asked the man sitting next to the empty seat whether someone was sitting there. He said, "No you can sit there." In talking to the old man he found out that his wife had accompanied him for years but she had passed away of cancer. "Well," the young man asked, "Couldn't you get any of your friends or family to come?" "No," he replied, " they are all at her funeral."
Love as Christ loved the church. If you argue with each other you don't really love your husband or wife. No verbal abuse means no name-calling, no sarcasm, no jokes that put her down, no angry threats. Your wife is a part of you, and any hurt you inflict on her you are really doing to yourself. Disagree yes but work out a solution together with love. Couples are often two imperfect people trying to fix each other and not looking at themselves to change.
What a challenge we have as husbands and fathers. I will continue to pursue practising and attempting to demonstrate to the world around me that I love my wife but I will never love her as much as Christ loves us, his body, the church.
This passage tells us that God's standard is that wives are to submit to their loving, servant leader husband. They are to give their husbands respect. A husband yearns for respect. He needs respect to function well. If you do not show respect another woman may and we know that even some of the most popular preachers have fallen for that temptation.
We show respect for a police officer and even if they mess up in their personal lives, we still need to show respect for their position to keep law and order in our society. Your husband is to keep order in the family, not like a drill sargent but as a loving, gracious servant leader as dad and husband.
In closing:
In this passage we see what Christ has done to give us an example. He sacrificed himself. The shortest verse in NT is Jesus wept. He weeps over our sin and rebellion.
God was concerned over the Israelites pain and suffering in Egypt. Ex 2:25 Do you weep over your own sin and that of your family or are you just angry because it tarnishes your reputation? We need a transformation, a transplant of heart, to receive the heart of Jesus.
What would our homes be like if everyone demonstrated sacrificial love for each other and served each other like Christ served and gave himself up for us. Sacrifice not selfishness. What would it be like if everyone in all the homes in our community loved unconditionally. There would be a transformation of society. That's what Jesus wants to do through our families. Are we up to the challenge?
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2/7/16 LEMC